When all seemed lost...

Where were you 8 years ago today? Abi and I were living in England and on our way to the hospital. We were about to have our 2nd child and we were going in for the last check before she was to arrive.

On the way to the L&D we heard a snatch of a news bulletin about a plane crash in New York. As we were nearing the end of our day with joy and anticipation in our hearts for our soon to be born baby girl, our friends and family were waking up to the horror that would shape a nation and shape world policies for years to come. We arrived at the hospital and it was strangely quiet. We discovered quickly that it was on Code Red, but no one really knew why. And no one knew actually what was happening 4,000 miles away on that gorgeous sunny Autumn morning much like the one here today. What followed was shocking, horrific and time altering. After this date 8 years ago, nothing would ever be the same. Security was shattered and fear became the emotion that infected everything.

It was a strange time for us. Abi and I were full of joy as we drove home anxious to call our friends and family back in the US with the good news that we would be parents again in a day or so. But instead, we returned to a news broadcast that wouldn't go away and images that are imprinted on my brain for ever. Our joy was dampened and our desire to share our news suddenly seemed inappropriate and callous. Even if we wanted to we couldn't because the lines were jammed with people calling looking for news on their loved ones. We eventually were able to communicate and later one friend told us, they were grateful because in the midst of great tragedy, our joyous news was something wonderful to look forward to and a reminder that God is still on his throne, creating, caring and bringing forth life when all seems lost.

Eventually we discovered that all of our friends, we had many who lived in DC and frequently traveled to New York, were safe and accounted for. We were pleased and we had our beautiful baby girl 2 days later. Oddly though, I felt strangely detached from all that was going on in the US. It almost didn't seem real. A book of condolences was opened in London at the US Embassy and daily people from across the country and from around the world lined Grosvenor Square for the chance to sign the book and express their condolences for our loss as a nation.

We still feel that loss in many ways don't we? In this mortal life 9/11 will shape us as individuals, as a nation and as the world. The day of condolences is over, a period of anger and hostility toward our nation is the new order of the day. And internally, we have withdrawn, we are more fearful, we feel however real or accurate that its us and them.

But the reality of that day is still true this day 8 years later, the God of Heaven and earth, the God of this life and the life to come is still on his throne, still ruling and still calling us to him and to share in his atoning mercy and sacrificial love. Yes, he allowed what happened 8 years ago to happen and yet what happened 8 years and 2 days ago he caused to happen. One resulted in the loss of many lives the other was the creation of one beautiful life. Do I understand it completely, NO. Do I trust he is in control regardless of my finite understanding, YES.

I have come to live with my detachment from the events of that day as it is a strong reminder to me that I am actually not meant for this world, I am a citizen of another Kingdom and another land. I am only sojourning here in this one for a time.

My condolences who lost someone that day. I pray you will know a peace that goes beyond our ability to understand.