15 days to go!!

We will be on the plane to the USA 2 weeks tomorrow, November 28th. It will be a marathon journey leaving here at 4am and taking around 24 hours in total, but we will be sleeping at our house in Illinois at the end of it!!

We are finishing up here - we are sending a few things with a shipping company so that is all packed up and ready for them to come and collect, although they haven't contacted us yet so it may still all be here on the 28th!! People are coming each day to take away more things that they have bought so the house looks different every time we come home. The children are getting used to living out of suitcases as all our wardrobes and cupboards are gradually disappearing. We have had a flurry of sleep overs and get togethers for the children, and we are slowly but surely working through our list of people we need to make sure we spend time with before we leave. It looks like we will be able to get through our list before we head out so lets hope we can!!

The children are all doing well considering the time of transition we are entering once again. We can definately see that they are more close to tears at times but generally they are doing well so we are glad about that.

Vicky leaves 4 days before we do and she has saved our lives - no kidding!! Abi cannot imagine having had to pack up the house, say goodbyes and get everyone organised if she had been teaching too. We are SO thankful. We will be sad to see her go as she is now part of the family. It has been great having her here and she has fitted into our family life so easily it will leave a huge hole when she is gone. We are trying to persuade her to come and visit soon.

Jems is growing before our eyes. She has started to wave which is very cute and she continues to be a delight. We have added a photo of her first tooth brushing - she now has 8 teeth so we are trying to keep on top of that!!! We are hoping she will have a reprieve as they have come so fast and have been painful so we are hoping she either gets them all over and done with, or slows down to give us a bit of a break!!

Our house is coming together in Illinois. Brad's parents have been busily putting up beds and unwrapping furniture for us which will be great for when we arrive. We are looking forward to seeing our things again and sleeping in our own bed. The children are excited about starting school - they will begin on December 3rd so we hope that will be a smooth transition for everyone. As yet Tate is not in any pre-school program as they are all full but Abi is looking forward to spending some time with him, so if that doesn't materialise she has some ideas up her sleeve. We know he has a place for the next academic year so we aren't worried about it.

We will try to keep in touch as best we can and will update you as soon as we have internet access in Illinois.

The Final Countdown!!

We have just 8 weeks to go before we head back to the US. It has been a busy month or so since we last posted. Our time in the UK was great fun, if a little exhausting. Abi's parents Ruby wedding celebrations were a huge success and it was great to see family and friends who we hardly ever manage to get together with. We did some lovely day trips with Abi's parents too while we were with them which were alot of fun.

We did see as many people as possible during the time we were in the UK. It was lovely to catch up and reconnect. Apologies to those who we missed. We realise the timing wasn't great due to the holidays etc.

We managed to get away for a week's holiday, just the 6 of us, which was sorely needed. We had a wonderful time, although Jems did decide she had had enough and gradually slept less and less as our time away went on!!! She is back into the groove again now we are home - thankfully.

Brad is in the UK at Radstock meetings and returns tomorrow. His schedule is looking very tight. We have already had 4 guys from Northern Ireland here for a few days looking at investment opportunities since we have returned so his time has been full to say the least. There are plenty of people coming for different things before we leave - several of whom are looking to work in the area of micro finance and business as mission so we are thrilled about those opportunities and pray we will be able to get everything done before our plane leaves!!

To say Abi is thrilled to have Vicky here from Northern Ireland teaching Quin and Ezzie would be the understatement of the year!!! School is in full swing and she wonders how she managed to do life here and teach too. A huge relief to be able to concentrate on the relationships here and the day centre in the spare time she has. She is madly trying to organise our departure and sell off all the things we wont be shipping.

The children are doing well. They do unravel slightly during times of transition, but they are holding up so far which is good to see. Quin is growing before our eyes and is desperate to master skipping with a rope before we return to his school as they have a big "Jump rope for heart" competition in the new year which he is keen to be a part of.

Ezzie is losing teeth by the minute and is raking in the cash!! It seems so strange to see her with a mouth full of adult teeth. She and Quin are enjoying our co-op which now has 3 families participating as the other 2 who were with us last year are back in the US for a year. We had the first one 2 days after we returned here at our house. As it was also just after Ezzie's birthday we decided to have them all sleep over!! I have the utmost admiration for people who have 8 children or more!!! They ate constantly and used up tons of energy, draining us of ours!! We obligingly filled them all up with sugar on Saturday morning and deposited them back to their parents!!!! (I am sure we were really popular!!!)

Tate continues to keep us on our toes and Abi is loving having some time in the mornings when the older 2 are in school to hang out with him. They have done some little visits together and he is great company. He is the joker in the family which keeps us all doubled up with laughter. He is particularly proud that he gets to go to pre-school at the Day Centre when the others dont!!

Jems is 7 months today and is wearing clothes Ezzie wore when she was walking!!!! She is an absolute delight and giggles constantly. She is getting teeth as fast as Ezzie is losing them. She will have 6 by the end of this week I think as she is cutting 2 more. She isn't too bothered about baby food, much prefers ours, and chomped her way through a quarter of a byrek the other day (for those of you who haven't been here that is a flaky pastry filled with meat - not what you would expect a small baby to be eating!!)

I will post a calendar in the next week or so as we have guests and teams coming up to the time we leave. If you are interested in making a quick trip before we leave - let us know!!!

A Diary of Death...

Day 1. Today I buried the father of my friend. What a dark and most difficult day it was. I was awoken abruptly at ten minutes to 8 in the morning by Abi in floods of tears thrusting my phone into my hand. Agim was calling, his father had just died. I took the phone, shaking the sleep from my head only to hear my friend sobbing uncontrollably. Of course we knew this call was coming and had been expecting it for many months, but one is never prepared for this kind of call no matter how long you are expecting it.

At once I was getting showered and dressed. Abi quickly got on the phone to friends asking what role I was to play, how I was to act and what were the words I mustn’t forget to utter in greeting the family. You see, I am not only a friend but I am Agim’s boss. Before 9am I was at his house expressing my condolences. Agim had just returned from the printers with the death notices, ready to plaster them around the town announcing the funeral. The funeral was to be later that day at 5pm.

By 3:30, I was at his father’s brother’s house in the village. As I drove into the village I saw the graves of those massacred in 1999 by the Serb ethic cleansing. Agim’s father cheated death eight years ago but today it was not to be. As I approached the house I was greeted by my friend’s brother in law, the only face I recognize in the crowd of men waiting for the burial. I presented the customary coffee and drinks, to be used later no doubt to serve to the hundreds and hundreds of guests who would come for visits over the next three days of mourning. At precisely 5pm the men gathered and the tiny dusty track that is the main road of the village was transformed into a sea of men all processing behind the truck with the coffin in it. We all streamed down through the village to the grave side. But as we did, I was ushered to the front holding my “kurore”, a shield like object covered in pine needles, plastic flowers and cellophane with a red sash noting that it is given in our names. My compatriots and I were all holding kurores and leading the procession through the village, across a major road and into the grave yard. The imam, Muslim holy man arrived. He mutters a few words, we all knelt, we stood, the casket was laid in the grave, the hole was filled and a small trench was dug into the top of the mound and then water was poured in it. Once this is done, we knelt again, the imam prayed again and then we placed our kurore on the grave. Mine was placed in a place of honor at the foot of the grave.

Day 2. Abi went to pay her respects to the wife. As she entered the room it is unclear what the protocol should be. The room was filled with women, some in headscarves, some not. The day before the protocol was to shake hands with every woman starting with the one nearest the door, until you got to the widow. On observing after the fact it was clear that the protocol was different the following day. The widow and her daughter were the first people who should have been greeted. She was overcome when she saw Abi and clutched her, wailing uncontrollably. Abi uttered the appropriate responses and was motioned to sit next to her in the seat of honor. Again and again Abi tried to make way for new groups of mourners coming in but Agim’s mother motioned her to sit where she was, often with an iron grip to the knee. She wailed, she cried, she was inconsolable.

Her grief is real and at the same time, her grief is being judged for its sincerity. As the widow, is she crying enough? Is she not eating? Is she not sleeping? These are the questions that are being scrutinized by the others who have come to “share” her grief, but in reality they want to see if she “really” loved her husband. If she fails their tests then she will be the talk of the town, a new piece of meat for the gossip mill. Even in one’s grief one is not able to be private and outside the realm of public scrutiny in this culture.

Day 3. I was summoned to the men’s lunch, an honor for sure, reserved usually for family and very close friends of the deceased. As I walked into the room, the smoke of countless cigarettes fills my lungs. Before I could sit, I too was ushered to the seat of respect next to the village elders. I was supposed to address the men across the other end of the room, not being aware of the protocol, I fumbled it badly. Only after I observe other guests coming did I realize I had done it wrong. But all was not lost my relationship to the family and my American nationality afforded me an abundance of grace. I was thanked on several occasions for coming and observing the grief with them, for the respect I had shown on that day. As new guests arrived the crowd made space along the wall for them according to their importance and level of respect within the village and family. Almost always I was encouraged to remain where I had been instructed to sit. After several hours a lunch and several broken conversations it was acceptable for me to leave. Upon my departure I ran the gauntlet of handshaking groups of men, each of us repeating to one another the obligatory phrases of condolence. As I departed, my friend thanked me for coming and staying with him and his clan and said I made history in his village that day. No American had ever observed the grief in the village before. My response was one of regret, would that I could make history in a more joyful way.

How differently grief is dealt with here. For most widows their life is over when they lose their spouse. They are scrutinized mercilessly to see if their devotion and love for their lost is one is expressed properly. Financially, the family bears an enormous expense feeding the hordes of guest that come day after day after day. It’s a week later and the guests are still coming. When there is no hope there is no reason to move on.

Fires and floods!!

The leadership Camp was a great success. Brad had a good group of students this year and had fun with the team who flew in from America.

Of course there was alot of action as there always seems to be in our family and here.

I woke up one morning to go downstairs at 6.30am to the sound of rushing water!! (Not a sound you want to hear at any time unless you have the tap on!!) Tate and I found ourselves standing in 3 inches of water in the downstairs bathroom. Thankfully I knew where the stopcock is so turned off all the water downstairs and our friend Alastair had fixed everything by 10.30am!!

No sooner had the flood been sorted than I had a phone call from up in the mountains letting us know that there were significant forest fires up there and there was a high chance that we would need to evacuate the 90 people who were up there on 2 different camps!! Check out the photo of the fires. The roofs of the place Brad was staying were at the bottom of the smoke on the left hand side of the photo!!!!! Pretty close.

We really didn't want to have to evacuate the camps for numerous reasons, so we called round and put drivers on standby in case we were needed. We weren't and the camps were able to continue as planned.

Stars and Stripes!! The stars are shining brightly!

We need to tell Jems that is isn't good form to eat the flag!!! But she did get into the patriotic spirit!!

We celebrated July 4th in patriotic style using decorations that Aunt Shelly sent us several years ago!! They are still going strong. We made homemade corn dogs, baked beans and red, white and blue cupcakes!! A very fun evening. Here are all the patriotic youngsters sporting their various items!! Of course our household is slightly confused as we are split between the ones who became independant and those from whom independance was sought!!!

Summer is here again

Summer is here again and we are settled back into life here. We are thrilled to see our older children finally having the confidence to play in the street with the other children in the neighbourhood. It has been a long time in coming. We are enjoying spending time with our neighbours and friends here - having the customary Turkish coffees and Russian Teas with them. The weather has been unbelievably hot so the children have enjoyed playing in the paddling pool with their friends. Here they are together on a hot Saturday afternoon. Ezzie and her friend Toska now have the same tankinis. Toska picked the same one out for Ezzie as she has, but picked blue to match her eyes!! Don't they look lovely?!


We have finished homeschool which everyone is thrilled about and there are several teams in town which, although not directly related to our work in some ways is always really fun as there is lots of activity and enthusiasm. We are having dinner at the Guest House tonight with the team from Northern Ireland. Always hilarious!! Lucy wanted a special mention as she hasn't been mentioned before so there we go Lucy - you are now officially mentioned on our blog!!!

Brad has just made a loan to a lady in town who has opened a jewellry shop at the new large supermarket. Here she is in her shop. The things she is selling are lovely so beware if you head out this way as we will surely make a trip there!!

A few photos

We have been enjoying the opportunity to do some different things while we have been here in the US. Here are a few of the photos from our time here.

Trying on Colonial armour in Jamestown, Virginia.

Enjoying the Air and Space Museum in Washington DC.

It's all about the horses!

Horse back riding is a recurring theme in our time here in the US. Quin and Ezzie are taking part in a horse show in a few weeks time and even Tate has been riding - all Western, not English so it is a new approach for them to learn!! They even have cowboy boots, spurs, hats - the works!!!

One of the horses here in the barn had a foal a month or so ago - we were running bets on whether the mare or I would go into labour first. She went into labour at midnight one night so we got Quin and Ezzie out of bed to get a ringside seat. Labour is very quick with horses so Ezzie and I arrived just as the foal had been born. Quin bolted out of bed in a daze and got there just in time!!!!



Here he is right after birth.

What is a half birthday??!!

We were slightly confused to read that it was Ezzie's half birthday at pre-school last week and that they would sing Happy Birthday to her etc. She was to be bring a snack - ideally some kind of birthday item such as cupcakes or a birthday cake.

We then discovered that only children who have not been in the pre-school for their actual birthday because of where it falls in the year are given this star treatment!!

She decided she wanted a princess castle which didn't seem too daunting when we stumbled across a cake pan in the shape of a castle!!

Brad, Grandma and Ezzie did a great job of decorating it to perfection!! Very impressive.

Our 2 wounded soldiers!!!

OK, so we can't really use the birth of our 4th child as an excuse for lack of blogging any longer!!

It has been quite the eventful week........

Yesterday morning began with Brad having an accident on his bike. At least now he is convinced of the need for a helmet. He is sporting a very scary looking black eye and is wearing his sunglasses as much as possible. The attendant at the gas station made him come inside to have his credit card authorised as he clearly didn't look trustworthy!!!!

Yesterday evening Tate and Quin were playing on a saddle stand (you put a western horse saddle on this to practise exercises!) The saddle slipped off and Tate fell awkwardly breaking his elbow!! A few hours at the ER later he was wearing a temporary cast. Not exactly what we had in mind. The cast is so big and cumbersome he needs help getting up and down!! We go back to the hospital in the next 2 days to see what needs to happen next.

Thought we needed to record the moment for posterity!!

The down side is that the Californian side of the family flew in today and Brad's Mom has scheduled a family photo for everyone this weekend!!!! Ezzie is on the verge of losing her first baby tooth too and it looks likely it will not be in her mouth by 11am on Saturday morning!!!! We are wondering how else we can sabotage the photo opportunity!!

The little dove has landed!!

Welcome to Jemimah Grace!

Here she is with our Dr - don't know which face is more frightening?! He is great fun with a hilarious sense of humour.

Jemimah Grace Byrd (Jems) meaning little Dove arrived at 6:54am on March 1st. It was a longer labour for us but still fairly short by normal standards. Abi was so thankful that our OB was willing to induce her with no questions asked.

The hospital was like a 5 star hotel in comparison to the one where we delivered Ezzie and Tate in England. It was a great experience and a wonderful place to have a baby.

Quin, Ezzie and Tate are thrilled with her and as soon as they wake up they are lining up to hold her and feed her. Some days we feel like we haven't had our hands on her at all!!

Very proud big sister who could hardly wait to get her hands on the baby she has been praying for every night for 9 months!!

Proud older brother who runs in from the schoolbus to see where his sister is and whether he can hold her as soon as possible.

Long may this love last!! So far so good, although close proximity is needed as Tate will just toss her aside without warning when he has held her long enough!! He is thrilled to see her eyes open.

We are safely in Illinois!!

We are now safely in Illinois, having flown in a day earlier than planned to beat a major blizzard which ended up snowing us in completely which the children of course thought was great fun!!

There is much to thank God for:

• For our safe arrival in the US
• For our relaxing vacation in Williamsburg
• For the wonderful time we had visiting with friends in DC, VA and NJ
• For the ability to change our flights and fly to Illinois a day early at no extra cost to arrive ahead of the blizzard
• For Quin's quick and excited transition to school. He is now taking the school bus and is loving every aspect of school life. The school is amazingly resourced and he is making good friends already - even if he can't remember any of their names!!
• For Ezzie's start to pre-school. She has settled quickly and is enjoying her afternoon program 3 times a week, and homeschool in the mornings with Abi. It takes alot less time when it is just her so Abi, Ezzie and Tate are enjoying getting to do some fun things like visiting the library, meeting friends, going to the mall etc.
• For the 2 visits so far to the hospital. Our OB is a fun Dr and we are thrilled to be able to have signed on with him. He is very understanding of our situation which has been a relief.
• For the provision of our "Scooby Van"!!! The van we are driving. We will post some photos for you to get the full picture!! It has begun to smell a little of burning so pray that we will be able to get to the bottom of the problem if there is one.
• We now have an oven so we can cook!!! Yeah. Praise God for that!!

Upcoming events and prayer requests:

• We have another appointment with our OB tomorrow. Abi's blood pressure has been up and down since we arrived. Pray for a good visit and that he would have wisdom to know what the best course of action is.
• Pray for the impending birth!! (Whenever that ends up being)
• For Quin, Ezzie and Tate - that they would adapt quickly and well to their new sibling. They have had alot of change in the last month so pray that they would have the ability to adapt to this too.
• We have had some teething problems getting our apartment ready so pray that everything would be finished before the baby arrives. We had a set back tonight where someone was working in the apartment and hit a water pipe so we now have no water. Pray that we would be able to get this fixed quickly and that it would all be ready before Abi delivers.

We are very much enjoying our time back here in the US. We would love to hear from you - do keep in touch. We will let you know as soon as the baby arrives and will try to keep posting now we are here and more settled.

Wedding Dress in a week????

We are all set pretty much to head off to the US tomorrow. I can't believe the time is finally here!! It seems quite unbelievable. I was feeling in control of things here enough to venture to a city the other side of the region with Primrose yesterday to check out wedding dresses and see if we could get one ordered for her.

We arrived in the shop not quite knowing what to expect, and there were some amazing dresses We looked through a sucession of catalogues and tried to explain (in vain initially) that we were looking for something on the simpler style. Here brides are decked out in alot of sequins, lace, sparkly bits all over their dresses. It was hard to explain that she really didn't want that - the girl looked at us as if we were slightly mad really!! We looked at fabric samples, beads, all kinds of things. An hour and a half later she was measured up, ideas had been communicated (correctly we hope!!) and she returns next Monday for a fitting as her dress will be all made up - just the hemming etc to add. The dress is then going to be ready a few days after that. We couldn't believe it - forget a 6 month waiting period - just over a week will do the job here!!!! It is a fraction of the cost too so if you are in line for a wedding dress pop over for a couple of weeks and you are good to go!!!!

Oven NOT ready Christmas Turkey

After searching high and low, in three different countries, an oven ready turkey was not to be had. On the Saturday before Christmas, it became painfully obvious that if we wanted a bird on our table for the traditional Christmas Day feast we were going to have to go live. Abi trundled off to the market and poked, prodded, weighed and examined the array of live turkeys on offer from the local villagers. What an unfortunate surprise when she returned with a bird in hand. Then it was my turn to continue the process of preparing the object of our eventual main dish. With an audience of Mummy, our friend S, and 2 of the 3 children it was off with its head. Let me tell you, chopping a turkey’s head off is not as easy as it looks. The thing doesn’t just lay there; it resists to the end, a very short end mind you, but resist it does. S was holding it's flailing wings while the axe was swinging!! We would have paid good money for a "Butterball" at that point. Our daughter was in tears after the deed was done. When I asked Abi why Ezzie was crying the reason was not the cruelty of the act, but that she had missed the act of chopping itself!!! (What kind of children are we raising we wonder???)
Following the killing then there was the plucking, soaking, injecting and the cooking. All of which was also less than conventional. In the end, we had a fairly tasty bird on our table, albeit smaller than we are used to and alot more boney!!

If you ever find yourself in a similar position to this then do get in touch and we will share our tips with you, which according to those who gave them to us is the difference between the turkey being edible or not!!!